pain

what the heck is this pain on my left shoulderrrrrr.
more of near the neck side.
it's been aching like there's a knot for the past two days.
and i checked the mirror and it looks bigger than my right one.
ouch ouch ouch.

so im still nervous for english class.
still haven't presented my damn autobiographical powerpoint. but oh well.
that's my english class, we got public speaking -________-
i'd kill to get out of that class. i swearr.

anyways, this week is a busy week.
tomorrow is wednesday, and i have choir rehearsals after school.
then thursday, another rehearsal for womens ensemble. then we sing at the booster's night at 6pm.
then friday, we have practice after school (i think) then we sing at the homecoming football game.

i have an essay due friday.
but i don't wanna go to english class friday cause we're doing a socratic seminar.
and i hate those. UGH.
so idk, i'll seee. i'll seee.

stress stress stress.
i need sleep.
i need rest.

nemo is still alive :D
im planning on getting the whole cast of finding nemo when i get a fish tank.

YAYY. hahaha (:

love in this club

old song, but i still love it.
one of my favorite songs.

currently playing : lovebug by jonas brothers.
hmmmm, i wanna learn that on the guitar ?

so went to harvest last night.
best night so far.
after a week of lame stress and work ? harvest made my week.
specially the group of people i was with.

but sadly, i can't go tonight.
why ? my parents said we already went last night.
ugh, don't they know that it happens only once a year ? haah.

i just hate hate my life at times.
certain people make it so much harder.
lazy people. mean strict people. people who don't understand what you're going through.
annoying people. judgemental people. hurtful people.

those people should learn.
i have a life too, you know.
but unfortunately my life is taken over by school AND chores.
i hate it.
it's unfair.

give me a break.
give me a chance to go out, have fun, and come home whenever i want.
of course it's before midnight.
im not gonna get hurt, i have a house key, and im not gonna be alone.

and life is so hard when you can't drive.
and when NO ONE can drive you anywhere.
maybe cause they're lazy to ? yeah. YEAH.

i can't drive. i don't have my license. i don't have a car.
and i don't have any friends legal enough to drive me.

ugh.

so many things

so many things i can't wait for.

i can't wait for all the choirs to rehearse together.
i can't wait for the homecoming game.
i can't wait for the harvest festival.
i can't wait for christmas.
i can't wait for women's ensemble festivals.
i can't wait for the madrigal feaste.
i can't wait to get my gown.
i can't wait to go to new york.

and there's alot more.

so many things i want. so many things i crave. so many things i dream for.

i want to drive already.
i crave haru haru bscr roll.
i dream for what all girls dream and drool over, a boy.
i want to be rich.
i want to be able to go places whenever i want.
i crave for joghurt.
i dream to go to a great college.


agggkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

so i've been sniffling the whole day.
and sneezing every now and then.
idk why but i hate sneezing in public.
if i had those really quiet sneezes, i'd love to sneeze whenever i want.
but nooooo.
my sneeze is like an EXPLOSION. ka-booom.
you'll probably hear it echo.
and you'll feel the earth shake.
that's how my sneeze is.

how nice, how very very nice.

cutee

one smile, one wave, one laugh.
it makes my day.
he makes me feel giggly inside (:

oh, i liked today.

oh wow, that rhymed :D

it feels so good

to know that you've inspired someone to do something.
one of the best feelings in your life.
im not even kidding.

im glad i can help out other people, just like they help me when i need them.
true friends are friends that are there for you no matter what.
they're always listening to you while you vent, and they won't ever think negative.
they'll find ways to make you happier, to help you solve your problems.
to give you one of the greatest advice you've ever gotten.
now those are true friends.

we all know life gets tough, but you gotta remember to never ever give up.
because that's the worst thing you can ever do, next to killing your health with smoking and drugs.
i mean, seriously.. what's the point in doing that ?
i know people get stressed, and they do those things to "feel better"
but there are ALOT more ways to solve your stress problems.
don't do things that make you feel better, but KILLS.

talk to your family, talk to your friends. they can help you change your life.



here are a few people who've told me i've inspired them, and they inspire me too (:

http://drayy.blogspot.com
http://brandontheho.blogspot.com

(:

coffee ice cream

is by far, the best flavor ever made... for me (:

so today, monday, was preeeettty chilllll.
i'm happy we didn't have any literature book work for english.
but we do tomorrow -____-. god i just hate how he calls random people
and make them summarize the short story he made us read, or ask us questions.
myers is seriously killing my junior year.

but what makes my day is seing this cute boy.
HAAAHHHA yes, a boy. going to second period, and other passing periods.
i can't stop but stare at his perfect smile. HAHAHHA :D

sooo anyways.
i just recently found out that the choir tour to new york is on a school day !
so i'm pretty much gonna miss a week of school.
easy for some people, but not for me.
im a freaking junior, hence all the work and stress pouring out and taking over my bubble.

STAY OUT OF MY BUBBLE.
i wish i can make that happen, but i can't.
so i guess i'll just do my best and try to not lag behind.
if i start lagging, everything will start falling apart.

today, i was told by desiree perez that i've inspired her to start blogging like this.
and im glad i did. cause this blogging thing helps alot.
if i have no one else to talk to, i got this.
i vent vent vent.

so if you don't like reading my blog, then that's not my problem.
you should've at least read the big letters on the top of this screen.
"raffiapiaaa VENTS"


thank you very much.

it is sunday

and tomorrow is mondaaaay.

today started off quiet.
i had a really rough night that involved tears, thanks to my parents -______-.
i fell asleep on my floor, yes, my floor. and woke up at around 11:30.
then i had to walk to the bathroom with my eyes closed cause i couldn't open them.
you know, when you cry alot and after sleeping, it's all puffy and you can't open them.
yeah, that happened, so i struggled to go to the bathroom.
but i managed to get there safe. just less than ten steps away.
so i wash my face, brushed my teeth, then went back to sleep on my bed this time.

the next day, my grandma wakes me up around 8 or 9. but i just covered my face with my blanket.
i was depressed. i didn't feel like getting up.
so i slept again. and woke up at around 10 or 11.
then i still didn't feel like getting up, so i just rolled around.
then finally, i got up past noon, went to the bathroom with my eyes closed again.
washed my face, brushed my teeth, went peeeee.
then i went back to my room and continued the homework i didn't finish last night.
my eyes were puffy, so it was hard.
i had to rest every 10-15 minutes.

around 1, i started getting hungry.
i haven't been downstairs yet, so i figured i should just go and get something to eat.
i didn't say anything to my dad, who was sitting at the other dinner table, the formal one.
so i went to the kitchen, got something to eat blah blah blah.

sooo time passes and we go to church.
me, my sisters, and my dad. my mom was at work.
so i got my normal eyes back, what a relief.
mr. stephen rodriguez kept me and my sisters company at the mother's chapel at church (:
then i see adriel, who i haven't seen in the longestttt time ! yaaaay.

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn after church, we went back home.
now, im procrastinating. but i only have one more hw, which is math.
i should start working on my autobiographical powerpoint. it's due on friday.
but presentations are next week.

i used to know how to do powerpoint. but i forgot now.
so imma ask my sister for help !

yessss. now, im gonna try to focus on my math hw and get it done asap.

i hope tomorrow's a good day. i can tell (:
after a rough weekend, i hope i have a good week. please.

im craving ice cream, damnnnn.

oh ugly day

currently listening to : thunder acoustic by boys like girls.

i wish for too many things.
i wish i can drive.
i wish i had my license.
i wish i had a car.
i wish i had straight As.
i wish my parents would understand me.
i wish i can read minds.
i wish i can control minds.
i wish i had a boy.
i wish i can go out anytime.
i wish homework never took up all of my time.
i wish i had a clear face.
i wish i had money.
i wish my grandpa was out of the hospital.
i wish i was good in math.
i wish i had a nice job.
i wish i had a lock on my door.
i wish i was skinny.
i wish i don't have blackheads.
i wish i had a purple guitar.
i wish i can last a day without getting tired and just having fun !

if all these wishes come true, then i will definitely be the happiest person alive.

what the hell

is wrong with my faceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i guess stress does cause breakouts D:
then parts of it are getting dry, and it hurts, even when i put lotion on it doesn't help.

so my dad is being soo strict when it gets to him having to drive us somewhere.
even when it's for school. if only i could drive. i wish my mom was here.
but she's at work. she's nicer when it gets to this stuffs.
i miss her too. i barely see her anymore.
i leave for school in the morning and she's still sleeping, and when i get home from school,
sometimes she's there, sometimes she already left for work.
then she works untill midnight, and of course i'm already asleep by then.
the only days i see her is when she's off from work.
mann.

and my baby sister is being the biggest brat. ugh.
whatever, im about to do homework.
i still feels like i haven't been doing good enough to get nice As.
but i am ! -____-

so i have to :
read my book, then do an SSR journal.
do all the questions assigned to us on chapter three for chemistry.
do my alg 2 homework.
do the stupid us history ch 2 study guide.

then if i have time, i have to start working on my autobiographical powerpoint.
alshjfljaslfdoisaurtajretw9485owfjjsadflkjsalk jsafdlkjsa09odufwlsejrs !

if only i had the power to control minds.

pretty funny

so my cousins michelle and michael came over this afternoon
cause michelle got her laptop and she asked my dad if he can install all the stuffs in it.
so i was studying dowstairs while they were installing and stuffs.
then cousin michael sits right next to me, grabs a pen, and starts doodling on my arm like it was a piece of paper.
according to him, it's a SQUISHY SURFACE. hahaha, thankss !
so i wrote on his, then he wrote on mine, then i wrote on his
untill our whole arm was covered.
i washed it off, but there's still some left. and the ink looks purple.
hahaha, dang. i might be going to school with it.

sooo i actually should be sleeping right now.
did my nightly routine.
took a shower, brushed my teeth, etc...
then i set the alarm on my spongebob alarm clock for 5:00 am, and my cellphone to 5:30 am.
the reason why i have two alarms is for just in case i don't hear the first one.
cause lately, i noticed that i'm pretty much DEAF when i'm sleeping.
this spongbob alarm clock is really loud, and there's no doubt that it won't wake you up.
and it doesn't seem to work on me. hahaha wow.
don't worry, my ears are clean clean. i can't stand not cleaning them after i shower.
it feels weird.

soo it's five minutes till twleve and i should be tucking myself into bed right now.
fluffing my pillows, and finding the perfect spot where i can just fall asleep in peace.

so that's all for now, goodnight to all !

gahhh

school is pretty much taking over my days.
i barely have time to have fun.
junior year is like hell, but hey, we have this year and one more to go.
and we're out of highschool.

im sitting here, and all my book are on the desk.
they're staring at me. algebra 2, chemistry, english.
i have a couple of homework for today.
i'll start off with my algebra 2 homework.
then i'll go and read the short stories assigned to us by my english teacher.
i have to know exactly what happens in the story, cause he picks out people randomly
and ask them to either summarize the story, or ask them questions about it.
then i'll move on to starting on my flow chart for chemistry
cause it says we have a lab tomorrow.

i swear, teachers this year are no help.
they don't tell us when they post any new assignments online or what not.
they don't teach us well, and then they give us tests.
they give us a study guide to "help" us with the test, but none of those questions on the study guide are on the tests.

isn't that just wonderful ?
my goal this year is to TRY my best to get straight As.
i doubt that'll happen, so maybe As and Bs.
i didn't really take school seriously my freshman and sophomore year.
now that school just started, it's time for me to start off fresh and clean.
ill listen to the teacher, and do my homework without procrastinating.
but im pretty much procrastinating right now, haha.

so we had an algebra 2 test last week, and i thought i did good.
but nooo, she gave me a 69%.. which is what.. a D+ ?!?!?!
thank goodness she's letting people who got below 70 to re-take the test.

school would be easy if the teachers were good teachers.
this is pretty much the biggest issue i've whined about.
school, school, school. especially this year with my "english CP" teacher.
CP means college prep, not AP !
we have MORE work than the AP classes, is he nuts ?
i guess he is.

he should just switch the class name to english 11 AP.
or hell class.

hahhh.

damn

today was a lame day, yes it was.
english was the usual nerve wrecking for me. i seriously hate that class.
the teacher is too, strict. well for me he is.
at least i have it first period so i can get it over with !
but it pretty much ruins my day, that's what sucks.

i had a test second period. not much people studied for it.
pretty funny, my whole table and other people were cheating.
it was easy to cheat with that sub. although the test was eh.

third period, we started working on the song "ave maria"
soprano has some preeeetty high notes there too.
i can do it, i hope !

fourth period was the usuallllllllllll.
i don't like this "apple" book. especiall the fact that the teacher reads/signs it to us.
and i sometimes can't catch up with the signing cause i forgot most of them over the summer.
should've praticed...

today was club week.
not sure if im joining a club, ill see.
if i wanna get a cord when i graduate, i gotta join asl club
this year and my senior year.
so ill see, ill see.

fifth period we got our tests back.
holy dung, i dont wanna talk about it.
that teacher need to explain more clearly.

sixth period, we still don't do anything at all.
we're supposed to have a test today.
but luckily, the teacher re-scheduled it to tomorrow.
so i made the 3x5 notecards and i'm ready.

right now, im supposed to be sleeping. but i can't. but i have to.
i haven't been sleeping early enough lately.
thanks thanks big thanks to school.

ah, lord help me.

procrastinate

i had a blog before this one, but i forgot my password.
i never really used it over the summer, that's why.

i finished all my homework.
now all that is left for me to do is to study.

my chemistry book is sitting right in front of me.
open, but the page remain the same.
that's because i'm procrastinating, and it's bad.

i met my chemistry teacher the first three days of school.
stevens, for honors.. yes, she's a new teacher.
she told us she was gonna have a surgery that week.
so she looked for a sub.

so right now, we haven't learned anything.
we had to do work by ourselves.
stevens assigned us questions to do on the book.
our current sub right now, hasn't taught us anything that is in the book.
and that actually made sense to us.

he's funny and i like how he can't hear you much
and when he's doing roll call, he mispronounces almost all our names.
"ra fee ye lee re du bee yo ?"

hahah funny old man.
i like my class though. actually, i love it.
i have desiree perez, jenna custodio, and regina reyes in my table.
this will be one great year. one great, busy busy year.

so right now, im "about" to stop my procrastination
and focus on the book, not the computer screen.

chemistry chemistry chemistry.
i love science.
but it's better when your real teacher is there to teach you right.

wish me luck and hope i get an A !